urban beets

Battles Only We Understand

First and foremost, please, please listen to this song:

It might or might not be your style, but trust me—we need it. I know we’re all fighting battles no one else knows about, and I just want to remind you that things will get better. Even if you don’t feel like opening up to someone close, here I am—a random stranger behind a keyboard and a screen—ready to listen if you need to talk.

Today, this song spoke to me on another level. I was on the verge of falling back into depression, but sometimes, keen lyrics and a raw voice can be enough to lift up your chin and get you ready to keep the fight going.

Let me just start by saying—these last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions: opportunities, rejections, and last-minute decisions. After every piece of good news I received, it seemed like I was met with a reason why it wouldn’t work out.

I was offered my dream job as a private chef for an ambassador in Tokyo, Japan. I made it all the way to the final round of the selection process, but in the end, I had to face the reality: language barriers and in-country experience were factors that couldn’t be ignored. Door #1 shut.

Then came the promise of working on yachts—a money-saving opportunity I’d been looking forward to. But finding yacht work in winter? Almost impossible. For now, Window #1 closed.

Finally, I got an offer from a hotel in Spain. It wasn’t something I expected, but it came with the holy grail in the restaurant industry: two consecutive days off (and one Sunday off every four weeks). This meant I could have a life outside of work and, most importantly, apply for Spanish residency. That had been my Plan A since the start of the year. But bureaucracy as a foreign is a barrier not easy to overcome. Crack #1 sealed shut.

So, there’s no “if one door closes, another opens” in my life. And now, here I am, stranded without a clear path forward. Winter is cold and unforgiving, and it shuts me down entirely.

But you know what? I’ve been here before. And I know I’ll get through this.

One thing about me—which I consider might be my biggest weakness, but it’s also my greatest strength—I’m stubborn. No matter how uncertain life gets, that has always pulled me through.

And so, as I reflect on all these closed doors, I realize that many of the obstacles come down to the same core issue: bureaucracy, documentation, and nationalities.

It’s hard being a foreigner.

Even though I’m incredibly lucky and deeply grateful for the life and opportunities I have, my grandpa’s words often ring in my ears: “It doesn’t matter which country you go to, you’ll always be a foreigner if you’re outside home”.

I’ve never faced outright racism, and for that, I’m thankful. But being a foreigner still complicates things. You can’t move freely, you’re constantly revalidating papers, and you can’t apply to other countries with the ease that locals do.

Only those of us who live this way truly understand what it’s like to lack a resting space—to always have to think about the roof over our heads, about rent, about work. We can’t take anything for granted.

And it’s not just the distances we’re fighting—it’s also the political barriers that make us feel judged based on where we come from. I get it: as an outsider, you don’t have the same rights. That’s fine. But not all outsiders are bad or dangerous. Many of us are just looking for opportunities or trying to build better lives.

Lately, I found myself watching clips from the movie Elemental (is it Instagram’s algorithm, or is it the universe sending me messages through social media?). Something about it stuck with me, so I decided to finally watch it.

And, surprise! Life seemed to throw me another message wrapped in a beautiful story.

The movie captures the struggles of being misunderstood, of trying to integrate into a society that feels so different from your own, that doesn’t accept you for who you are. But also sometimes, things can work out.

One concept from the movie struck me the most: “tishok”, which means to embrace the light while it burns. And maybe that’s what I need right now. Life’s challenges might feel overwhelming, but the adventure and sparkles around certain moments are worth embracing while they last.

So, if you’re also out there fighting your fight from outside your homeland, I admire you.
We will all make it through 🙂